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Post by Al Truest on Jun 19, 2005 2:00:27 GMT
Try your hand at lyrics here. Have a tune in mind and see if anyone can pick up on it. You may give a hint such as genre or use an existing tune with your lyrics. I'll start with something simple - and what's more simple than 'country music' - ''Since you've been gone things are now better if you'd been here I'd never have met her you were the worst and she is the best you made me crazy and she gives me rest''
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Post by Al Truest on Jun 20, 2005 21:49:01 GMT
I don't really know country music so don't know about the tune, but I like your lyrics! I don't know country very well either (not everyone in Nashville likes country music ) However, when these words came to mind, they seemed like a simple country song. Maybe to the tune of ''I've Got Friends in Low Places'' (by chance if you've heard this abomination ) 'Would love to. I can always count on you to keep my threads here going. What style is this? I can here it anywhere from thrash to an acoustic ballad. .... Good tho'
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Post by Adey on Jun 21, 2005 1:39:32 GMT
Here's a set of my lyrics from mine and my collaborator's Breaking the Circle project. As you'll quickly realise, I have a great interest in the sadly brief story of this particular vessel, and used it in the history of our heroine.. "Pushing through the morning seas, she presses on and waits for no man. Two days out and flying through the spray, this ship of dreams! Seabirds float upon the breeze, looking down upon her bow, The wealthy and the hungry sailing on, to history.
Stoke the boilers, build up steam, Give me all your forward speed and fly! Ella's on a trip with no-one, On her tragic date with destiny..
Ismay of the White Star line, had set his heart on racing glory, Could Titanic on her maiden voyage make history? The gallant captain anxious at this speed, But for one last charge across the waiting seas - ignored his fears.
Stoke the boilers, build up speed, Give me all your forward speed and fly! Ella's on a trip to no-where On her tragic date with destiny..
- Trace the morning sky and watch the wake that carves the sea, Down below the people milling 'round so endlessly, I wonder what their stories are, I wonder why they came so far? Watch the morning seagull as he rides upon the breeze, The lovers walk the decks and whisper softly at their ease, I wonder how they came to be, Are they escaping, just like me? -
Working fast as fingers will allow, the operator's radio - While messages of "Ice Ahead" are pushed aside for later view. Seaman Fleet, he climbed the lines to take his station on the lookout beam, In the ballroom Ella dances on, her mind in dream.
They said "this ship's unsinkable", The truth was too unthinkable to dream. "Women & Children First!" they cried, The band played on while the ship around them died.."Adrian Bennett (Copyright Corben Theatre) Musically the song is quite unusual, going through several different moods/rhythms, which accounts for the differing structures of the episodes. It is mainly performed over rolling piano apreggio phrases to suggest the movement of a ship at sea. It includes 3 lengthy instrumental passages which may explain why it's over 11 minutes long. Economy is rarely a concern for me when I'm writing..
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Post by Al Truest on Jun 21, 2005 2:11:51 GMT
Thank you Adey for sharing this. (and for making me feel like a hack ) It's funny that you mention economy when writing. Tonight I have been listening to some instrumental jazz (actually 'World Fusion' - specifically ''Faces and Places' by Joesph Zawinul) Several passages were quite lengthy, yet I did not want them to end. Much as the feeling you must get when writing. As in this piece - where you are taken along with the spirit of the song. Good story telling = good writing. Well done! The love you've put into it shines through.
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Post by Al Truest on Jun 22, 2005 0:35:17 GMT
I apologize for the preceding response. It was inconsiderate and patronizing. To be honest I was at a loss of appropriate words. How can someone comment suffiently to work that took great care and effort. I will attempt to listen and read more closely before I comment on these lyrics, Adey. I'll get back to you.
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Post by Adey on Jun 22, 2005 1:17:42 GMT
I was gratified by your original response and certainly did not feel it to be as you have now described.
You were considerate enough to respond, and your generousity of comment was not perceived by me to be patronising in any way. It can be difficult I think to comment on the creative efforts of another, but one feels almost obliged to do so for fear of not acknowledging the effort made.. I too have felt this difficulty, particularly on the poetry thread where obvious creative effort is on display. Sometimes the words we post in response can seem insincere or (more accurately) superficial to us in the light of a new day, but better that than silence.
At the risk of sounding pompous, I would say that if the lyrics gave you cause to think and made you question your own response to them, then I've done my job as an artist on this occasion..
Thank You.
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Post by Al Truest on Jun 22, 2005 2:12:59 GMT
Thanks Adey for catching my drift. It just did not feel right when I wrote it despite good intentions. As I said, let me give it it's due consideration.
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Post by Xanadu on Jun 22, 2005 19:51:37 GMT
As you'll quickly realise, I have a great interest in the sadly brief story of this particular vessel, and used it in the history of our heroine.. Oddly, I always have as well. Maybe we mentioned this before, our common interest. I have long been haunted by the story, since I was a small child, and read many accounts and stories about the event. As I have gotten older, I grow have grown more suspicious of the intent of the storyteller, feeling inconfortable with those who would exploit a terrible disaster for a dollar. With that said, I have been very much drawn to your musical, feeling your genuine fascination with the allegory of the event, and your being moved by its tragedy. The event in itself was obviously spectacular, but you have just incorporated it into an incredible, character driven experience, that's not just thought provoking, but emotional and entertaining as well. I have only just figured out how to download your music (clicking the links did not work for me... you are well aware of my issues with files ) and would like to be able to listen to each track entirely in the order of the story. The few I have been able to listen to have been an amazing experience. For a long time, I had a bit of an obsession with musical theater, until I felt there was nothing that that could move me. I would love to see your musical, and hope someday I will be able to. I have already said that I think your concept is brilliant, and I wish that more people would be willing to take a chance on a new inspired production, than a rehash of old outdated (although much beloved) musicals, such as a Gillbert and Sullivan. I think it is very courageous of you, and several others to share your creations here. I, myself, am no fiction writer or poet, but I do enjoy your contributions immensely. I am sorry I can not share more of my artistic creations with you. I suppose part of me is not as open or comfortable as some of you, and my skills do not lend themselves to this format. When time allows (and no interruption), I intend to give the music and lyrics more thought and give you more feedback. I'd also like to read some other reviews. I do feel uncomfortable with my feedback, since it is only based on my opinions and responses that on musical knowledge. But know that as a friend and music(al)/theatrical/film amateur "connoisseur" , I respect and enjoy your talent and work, and was terribly impressed. I apologize for the preceding response. It was inconsiderate and patronizing. To be honest I was at a loss of appropriate words. How can someone comment suffiently to work that took great care and effort. I will attempt to listen and read more closely before I comment on these lyrics, Adey. I'll get back to you. I was gratified by your original response and certainly did not feel it to be as you have now described. You were considerate enough to respond, and your generousity of comment was not perceived by me to be patronising in any way. It can be difficult I think to comment on the creative efforts of another, but one feels almost obliged to do so for fear of not acknowledging the effort made.. I too have felt this difficulty, particularly on the poetry thread where obvious creative effort is on display. Sometimes the words we post in response can seem insincere or (more accurately) superficial to us in the light of a new day, but better that than silence. At the risk of sounding pompous, I would say that if the lyrics gave you cause to think and made you question your own response to them, then I've done my job as an artist on this occasion..Thank You. I also appologize in the same vain for the same exact reasons. It is hard to comment on someone's art, that you care about. I am at no point qualified to offer any judgement, only my heartfelt opinions. Never misconstrue my silence as dislike or disregard... only perhaps lack of time and concentration to offer the response I'd like and discomfort with my knowledge of the subject. I hope everyone goes one with their amazing contributions and knows that some of us wish the words and music flowed as easily...
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Post by Adey on Jun 22, 2005 21:05:07 GMT
Thanks for your generous comments Xan.
I do actually recall that you once expressed an interest/affinity for the great ship Titanic and the appalling loss of passengers & crew. It was in a post or PM, don't recall which.
I have always been comfortable with displaying examples of my own creativity. Though I'm more of a 'backroom' character than a showman, I guess it goes with the territory of having to present one's work on a stage. I don't doubt that you have your own talents a plenty, but are not so keen on displaying them here. I respect your reluctance in this and in the matter of commenting on the work of forum participants.
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Post by Al Truest on Jun 23, 2005 0:01:23 GMT
Thanks for your generous comments Xan. Yes I will echo them as the words I was looking for. I too have unabashedly laid my thoughts and words out for all to see. However, I often wish that I used more restraint. It is wiser often to measure words and response. I must sometimes try to unf*ck what I may have f'd up.
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Iago
Reaching Out
Stepping out off the page.....
Posts: 367
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Post by Iago on Jun 24, 2005 2:02:33 GMT
The best way to honor the art of another is to show how the inspiration has moved you. We do this here everyday in our revelations about the influence of art and artist's. Foremost in our discussions is Kate Bush. In response to Adey's lyrics I am working on a piece based on a mother saving her child in the Andrea Doria shipwreck. In the meantime enjoy my favorite passage from ''The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" :
Does any one know where the love of God goes when the waves turn minutes to hours The searchers all say they'd have made Whitefish Bay if they'd put fifteen more miles behind her They might of split up or they might have capsized or they might have broke deep and took water And all that remains are the faces and the names of the wives and the sons and the daughter's
G. Lightfoot
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Post by Adey on Jun 24, 2005 2:48:05 GMT
Probably Gordon Lightfoot's most wonderful song.. Haven't thought about it in years - thanks for the timely reminder
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Iago
Reaching Out
Stepping out off the page.....
Posts: 367
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Post by Iago on Jun 24, 2005 2:49:18 GMT
Andrea
Bathed in moonlight she slipped into the fog drawn to us like a stranger in the night we raised our glass for a final drink God forbid this ship should sink
(refrain)
I bury my fear not my daughter in the depths of cold black water
The children played without a care as destiny was now in play in spite of all the rules and plans the last great ship would end that day
(refrain)
That day lives on my life speeds by my dearest child within my arms the mighty sea awaits it's claim yet man nor god can break this chain
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Post by Adey on Jun 24, 2005 3:04:49 GMT
Nice work Iago.
Writing song lyrics rather than more formally constructed verse is liberating. The opportunity to focus on the emotion & message of the piece rather than having to closely observe the rhythmic & structural convention is sometimes very welcome. As is the chance to experiment with unusual forms that are actually decided by the 'shape' of the music rather than some convention or usual pattern we can fall in to too easily.
Not to say however, that all song lyrics play fast & loose with tight structure. Your quoted example from Gordon Lightfoot demonstrates how dazzling lyric writing can be..
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Iago
Reaching Out
Stepping out off the page.....
Posts: 367
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Post by Iago on Jun 24, 2005 3:13:09 GMT
Nice work Iago. Writing song lyrics rather than more formally constructed verse is liberating. The opportunity to focus on the emotion & message of the piece rather than having to closely observe the rhythmic & structural convention is sometimes very welcome. As is the chance to experiment with unusual forms that are actually decided by the 'shape' of the music rather than some convention or usual pattern we can fall in to too easily. Honestly, I have never really written lyrics before. However I was aware that this piece does have an unconventional rhyming pattern. But in light of recent comments, F#ck tradition. It felt right when it flowed out. However, it does need a refrain. 'Will add later. I will continue to work on my expression. Thanks for the encouragement.
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